I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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