hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Randomize
