he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
