And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
