and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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