i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
