Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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