Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
