I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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