I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
