its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
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I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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