yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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