we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
