D3 body, D1 cock
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
