I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
there is puke in my bra ... again
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