I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Randomize
