guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize