I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
pop tarts are not kleenex
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
