singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
