he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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