You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
