If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My ass is underappreciated
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
