I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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