And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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