I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
that is very illegal...i love you.
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