Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize