shes about as inviting as chlamydia
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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