Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
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she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
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WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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