Soap is not a condiment
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
