if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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