HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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