I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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