how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
