i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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