Just mADE A PArabola og urine
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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