I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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