my soul wont recognize me after tonight
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
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