a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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