i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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