shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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