Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
