I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
