and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize