She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
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He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize