I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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