he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
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She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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