i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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