I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
