considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I need moral support for this bender
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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