You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
ttyl tear gas
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
