I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
