we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i've created a new STD.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
