I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
