Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
