I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
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my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
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I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight