Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
vagina is talking i cant
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If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
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Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am