i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year