i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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