so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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