Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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