So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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