he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
