If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
