not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize