He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize