My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
only if we run a train.
done.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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