he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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