need another drink. this is the easiest way
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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