You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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